I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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