let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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