i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
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