i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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