Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
did i walk over a car last night?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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