she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
