she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
