Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
