I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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