i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
We got so high we made milksteak
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
