it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
