a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
