how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
