When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
