uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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