I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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