Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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