i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
