he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize