so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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