planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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