that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
