my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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