Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just want nice things and good sex
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
