He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
