I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
