He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
