He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
