What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
