Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
