Well apparently he's into motor boating.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
