forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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