We're facebook friends in real life
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
