Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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