It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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