I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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