dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
