The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
