Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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