i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
