Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
home. puking in laundry basket.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Randomize
