WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
