My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
