Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize