weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
