I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
