I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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