Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
How naked do you want me to be?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
