yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
