what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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