Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
