I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
he shaved USA in his pubs
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
