i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
