No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize