Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
