Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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