I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
