Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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