I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
